Remember when someone called you something, labeled you something, and laughed because after all, maybe it was true? But then you spend the next few years of your life letting these words define you. Unsure of where these thoughts originally started from, but still you hold them tight as if they were engraved into your palms and ever time you look at these weary hands, you’re reminded.
Reminded of the painful identity that sadly overcome you. It’s not until years later that you have a flashback, a vivid memory, as these unknowingly hurtful words rush out of one’s person mouth. And that one person you had told yourself had impacted you so greatly turned out to be one who made you feel confined to a negative connotation of your own self.
“Oh my gosh, I would never want to be as emotional as you are. I think something is wrong with your heart.” Being the emotional, sensitive human being that I am, I immediately took offense to it. Then over analyzed my personality and questioned, is that true? Am I over emotional? What’s wrong with my heart? What does that even mean? I held onto that for most of my life, thinking that something was wrong with me.
But they didn’t mean it and even if they did, they didn’t know that down the road their words would still be haunting you. But you love them. After all, we are called to love and to give a free handout of grace as if it’s not the hardest form of forgiveness. Be brave enough to give them grace for they don’t see your mind or the internal thoughts that keep you up at night.
I use to despise how emotional I am and how deeply I feel things. I despised it because it means I cry a lot and I was easily guided by my feelings. But today, instead of wishing I was different, I am thankful. Jesus, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to come to you with my heart and be able to pour myself out to you with every feeling I have felt in my heart. Thank you for allowing me to feel, to have compassion. Thank you for hearing me, bearing me, comforting me through every fickle, fleeting and finite emotion.
My emphatic side is nothing to be ashamed of. People may think it is a fault (as some have said) but I think it is one of the best parts of who I am. How God created my heart. I have a deep compassion for other people, I hurt when not only my loved ones are hurting but strangers, and I am overjoyed when good things happen to other people. If I stripped that single trait away, I would leave the very essence of who I am and how God created me.
What I am trying to say is, don’t let the world desensitize you and how God created you. Loving that part of myself has been a process. Being able to process everything that my heart feels in a healthy way has been a process. Truly believing the truth on how Jesus sees me and how He has wired my heart has been a process.
So, to those who experience every moment, emotion, thought and feeling in life so very deeply. To the ones who live with compassion. To the ones who feel the intensity of tragedy and carry the earth’s burden upon their shoulders. To the ones who sees a life and long to save it and see a need and want to meet it. To the ones who cannot contain or withhold their tears, who weep with those who weep, mourn with those who mourn, and yearn with those who yearn. To the ones who hold nothing back, who reflect a level of understanding like no other – who desire to protect, shelter and shield the broken, the worn out and the weary, and keep every soul from harm. To the ones with hands that are bruised from giving yet remained determined to bandage and heal. To the ones who arms that are tired from fighting for justice but refuse to throw in the towel.
This is for you…
The ones who are filled with second chances, the emotional warriors. The ones who seek to listen for what goes unsaid, see more than what is visible and take the position of servant over master.
You are rare. You are a unique and beautiful force to be reckoned with. So go cross every river and ocean. Go the distance. Soak at the feet of Jesus and fill your cup to overflowing; fuel your flames in the courts of His praise in His glorious presence, and let the Holy Spirit be your eyes. Be wise with your gift but push on. Remember you are gifted and anointed not only to feel, but also to allow Christ carry you as you carry others.